Epoch-making Idea to Solve the Japan’s Pension Problem

*Hiragana Times CIA(Cynically Insulting Agency)

In 2007, the sloppy management of pensions by the Social Insurance Agency was discovered. The government promised that they would check up on 50 million unidentified pension accounts by the end of March 2008. However, this will be extremely difficult to accomplish. Many people are disgusted at their irresponsible government officials. The Social Insurance Agency recently stated they are now discussing an epoch-making plan to reform the pension system after reviewing their past mistakes. Hiragana Times CIA secured an interview with an informed Agency bureaucrat on the condition his name remains anonymous.

CIA: First of all, will you please briefly explain the Japanese pension system for foreigners?

B.: The Japanese pension is based on the principle that young people bear the financial burden for funding pensions for older people. In other words, the insurance payments paid by young people will be used to pay the pensions of today’s elderly people, and when young people become older, they will receive payments funded by the young people of the next generation. This is a splendid national scheme created from the idea of mutual aid between generations.

CIA: How did it cause such a problem?

B.: The Employees’ Pension Insurance bill was enacted in 1944, and the National Pension bill in 1953. Since the actual payment system began more than 20 years later, there were never any problems, even about how sloppy the Agency’s management was.

CIA: The number of Japanese who support the pension system began to decrease from 2005, didn’t it?

B.: That’s right. In addition to the smaller number of children, Japanese are enjoying the longest average life spans in the world. In 1950, an elderly person was supported by 9.4 young people, but by 2025 they will only be supported by 2 young people. Because of this situation, today’s young people have to pay much larger pension payments, which will make it harder for them to live their own lives.

CIA: So, drastic solutions are being discussed, right?

B.: Yes. The solution is that Japan drastically increases the number of foreign workers. To be honest, the pension system is very similar to that of a multi-level sales network. Unless the number of pension payers increases, the system will one day fall apart naturally. If you accept more foreign workers and their pension payments, it will have the same effect as increasing the population, therefore, the money will flow as before.

CIA: But it seems that the Japanese government is not keen to accept foreign workers …

B.: In order for companies to survive they have to choose to either move their factories to foreign countries, or employ foreign workers here on low salaries.

CIA: If many foreign workers come to Japan, Japanese workers will surely lose their jobs, won’t they?

B.: Yes, but you don’t have to worry about this at all. This will be solved by paying more unemployment insurance to Japanese workers. We make foreigners work hard and let them pay as much in pension and taxes as possible. This system will ensure Japanese live rich lives on their pensions and unemployment insurance.

CIA: This sounds just like a yakuza pimp who lives off prostitutes’ earnings, doesn’t it? Then, what will the foreigners who have paid their pensions receive when they get old?

B.: No need to worry about the future. You see, we won’t be living anymore at that time. You should know only clever Japanese bureaucrats create these kinds of intelligent strategies.

*Hiragana Times CIA(Cynically Insulting Agency)

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