A Politician Grading Guide Book will be on Sale Soon

*Hiragana Times CIA(Cynically Insulting Agency)

The “Michelin Guide Tokyo 2008” was published for the first time in Japan, and all 120,000 copies sold out within four days. This book was later reprinted and has been selling very well. In Japan there is a tendency for people to rank everything from sightseeing spots to movies. Now a guide book for grading politicians is being produced. Hiragana Times CIA interviewed the chief editor KANESAKI Shinichi.

CIA: What brought you to publish this kind of book?

Editor: Voters, especially young people, are easily influenced by the mass media. From bags to food they buy not whatever they want to buy, but whatever is introduced in magazines and guide books. In other words, the media are taking the role of a manual to teach them what to buy, what to eat and where to go. This guide book, which will be published soon, is also a kind of manual to teach people which politicians they should vote for. As a general election will take place soon, we will publish the House of Representatives edition first.

CIA: How are you planning to edit it?

Editor: Just like in a Michelin guide book, three stars are for the highest level of evaluation. The evaluation points are given for political philosophy, ability to achieve and honesty in money issues.

CIA: Looking at the present behavior of politicians, we are afraid there may be many politicians without any stars, aren’t we?

Editor: That can’t be true. Every politician will have at least one star. You see, their political philosophies are really wonderful. However, when it comes to their ability to acheive and in particular honesty in money issues, you know it is a different story.

CIA: Well then, how many politicians are there who will get three stars?

Editor: To tell you the truth, if you strictly evaluate them, there will be none. This guide book will not be published if there are no politicians able to get two or three points in order to be listed, so we will evaluate them under various criteria.

CIA: By which standard are you going to give higher grades?

Editor: Secretaries of the politicians who learned that this book is going to be published are coming to see me one after another. They bring us gifts including their local liquor and special local delicacies and talk earnestly about their boss’s political philosophy. Taking their passion into consideration, we will offer them two stars.

CIA: Then what are the criteria for three stars?

Editor: In order to make the readers understand the politicians’ passion more, in the last part of the book we put an advertisement section covering the politicians’ philosophies. We cannot disregard those passionate politicians who wish to deliver their philosophy even though they are paying an advertising fee. So we decided to offer three stars to all of them who place an advertisement. Our policy has been welcomed by politicians and all of the ad space sold out at once.

Comment from CIA
There is a proverb in Japan that says “If you have the mind of a fish, the water responds to it” (one hand washes the other, or one’s attitude changes depending on the other’s attitude). This could also be a spirit of harmony that the Japanese cherish? Don’t ask whether this guide book is useful! Of course it is. Since the Japanese are so naive that they act on anything the media say, they will surely vote for politicians after reading this guide book, leaving Japan’s future to them ...

*Hiragana Times CIA(Cynically Insulting Agency)

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