The “Don’t Go on a Diet!” Diet

*Hiragana Times CIA(Cynically Insulting Agency)

Diets are again booming in Japan. In particular, one of the more popular weightloss programs is the army-style exercise program, “Billy’s Boot Camp” from America. Hiragana Times CIA interviewed Professor TAINAKA Keiko to learn more about the reality of dieting.

CIA: We heard that you are publishing a book titled “Don’t go on a Diet!” soon. What is it about?

Prof.: One out of every seven people is starving somewhere in the world. Japanese people used to be thin because there was not enough food available after the war. Magazines during that period contained many advertisements promoting ways that people could gain weight. People longed to include fat in their diets. But now everyone has successfully gained ample amounts of fat. What happy people they are!

CIA: You mean dieting is not necessary? But when you get too fat, you may risk suffering from metabolic syndrome, right?

Prof.: Being too fat is a different story. Obesity is a kind of disease, and people suffering from it need to be cured. They take it seriously and usually have already started doing something to lose weight. Most people who want to go on a diet are only slightly overweight anyway. In fact, those people who don’t have to go on a diet are creating a diet-boom.

CIA: What do you mean by that?

Prof.: Various statistics clearly show that people tend to begin dieting seriously if they have gained 10kg over the standard weight for their height. Those who are less than 10kg overweight usually go on diets not for health reasons, but for beauty. That’s why they tend to select simple dieting methods. Although they purchase many new dieting packages, they usually do not use them to the full extent required and tend not to last long with any of them since they don’t take dieting seriously. As a reaction, they flocked to the high impact “Billy’s Boot Camp” program, but ….

CIA: You said that it is very difficult for dieters to stay with the program they are using, right?

Prof.: You see, more than 30 years have passed since dieting became an issue in Japan. If everybody had been going to fitness clubs or had used diet-related products seriously, there would have been very few people who would need to be on a diet now. Those dieters were just playing with their diet programs to get some kind of relief. Did those who had not gone on a diet get sick? No! On the contrary, the average Japanese life span has increased during those 30 years.

CIA: Well then, does it mean that we don’t have to do anything if we want to diet?

Prof.: As you know, there is a famous senryu (comical haiku or the shortest poem) that reads, “I will surely be on a diet after eating this,” which indicates that a wish and a will don’t always agree with each other. Even if you make up your mind to go on a diet, a human cannot remain serious about losing weight as long as they are driven by necessity. Actually, it is almost impossible to tell whether people are on a diet or not. In fact, most people don’t have to be on a diet. Just by adopting the following method for calculating standard body weights so that it reflects the realities of today: “Height minus 100” kilograms — most people will stay within the standard body weight for their height.

Comment from CIA
Congratulations, everybody! You can now be happy with the weight you are now. However, this standard is only for the Japanese. Dear foreign readers, sorry, this standard does not apply to you.

*Hiragana Times CIA(Cynically Insulting Agency)

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