Speed Dating Gaining Popularity Among Westerners in Japan

Stylishly single but not loving it? Loud bars and personal adverts not your style? There’s no need to stress out — there’s a slick new strategy in town to combat your dating drought and it’s only one step away. Speed dating is the single foreigner’s easy alternative to trying to attract that guy or gal in a loud and smoky bar.

“I think it’s great; so far I’ve met 10 women I’ve never met before!” said Jason, a Canadian who recently attended a Speed Dating event in a bar in Tokyo’s Shibuya district. “Those are good numbers! It’s a very effective way to meet people!” he says about the event which attracted 30-40 young working professionals from countries as diverse as Britain, Canada, India, America, Australia, New Zealand — even Japan!

Speed Dating is very popular overseas and considered a very efficient — and highly successful — way to not only meet new people but have an enjoyable and fun night out. “There are many reasons for launching Speed Dating in Japan,” says Laura COULTER, hostess of an increasingly popular Speed Dating event held every few months in Tokyo. “People are busy with little free time to go on dates and don’t want to commit to a blind date or an entire evening with a stranger.” Aside from trying to meet potential dates, Speed Dating provides a great chance to network amongst people from many cultures who have similar interests and intents, and possibly make a new best friend.”

Low-risk of being “shot down”
So, how does Speed Dating work? It’s simple: upon payment of 4,000 yen, everyone receives a complimentary drink and a sheet on which they can write the names of all their “dates.” Sitting at tables each date lasts four minutes before a bell rings, signaling for the men to move on to the next person. This process continues until all the couples have met each other.

After talking with each date, daters circle Yes (interested) or No (not interested) on their sheet. At the end of the event, the sheets are collected and if two people say “yes!,” their e-mail addresses are exchanged within a day or two by the organizer. “There is also a low-risk of being rejected or “shot down” by approaching a stranger,” Laura says.

Lindsay, another Canadian at the event, says she is attracted by the more relaxed setting where you can just be yourself without getting all dressed up. “It is not a ‘meat market,’ ” she says. Lindsay tries to find common points or topics of interest. “It’s is different to online dating, and there is no need to feel scared if you don’t like them or they don’t like you; it’s important to just relax! But I don’t think people get so stressed — after they have had a couple of dates and a glass of wine, everything is good!”

Jason says he tries not to have the same conversation 10 times, “So if I can find something else to talk about, then that’s what I’ll do. I’ll ask questions depending on what they tell me.”

So, what’s the best way to find your match? “Everyone should try to make the best first-impression,” Laura advises. “Reportedly people make up their mind about you in the first 10 seconds ... so smile! Look them in the eye and introduce yourself. With only four minutes, try to have something interesting to talk about — maybe have a question or two ready for everyone — favorite drink, food, TV show, etc. then just relax and listen.”

In the meantime, Lindsay is taking a break. She’s had four dates in 16 minutes, and met people from all over the world. “That’s what I like, it’s a nice way to meet interesting people,” she says. “The last time I took part in Speed Dating, I did end up going on a date. It was more friendship, but still, it’s always good to have friends and if love happens, well that’s a bonus!”

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