Couple Find Bilingualism Helps Maintain Harmonious Relationship

Joseph & Satoko

The couple first met at the sushi party of a mutual friend in Sheffield, England, in September 2005. Satoko at the time was studying for an MA in Intercultural Communication at Sheffield University. “I thought Joseph was a nice person but it certainly wasn’t love,” she says. “He was really interesting as he had traveled quite a bit, and knew quite a lot about Japan.”

Joseph, a final year student (BA in Japanese studies) said, “I remember how quiet and shy she was, but first impressions can be misleading! After a while, we started to meet every day, and talked for hours and hours about everything under the sun! But beneath the surface of the discussions there was a lot of passion as we were falling in love with one another. I finally told her that I couldn’t bear not telling her – I was in love. Twenty four hours later she told me that she felt the same.”

Satoko recalls, “I first met Joseph’s mum and dad at Christmas and I was treated as a member of the family straight away.” “My parents loved Satoko from the very first time they met her,” Joseph says. “As for me meeting her parents, well that was OK too as her two elder sisters have British partners, so I knew that they were used to having gaijin in the house!”

The biggest challenge Satoko faced was culture shock. “Returning to Japan after a year in the UK where one can really be oneself, was quite a shock,” she says. “I’ve found it very hard to fit in with the work culture here: working from 7am to 11pm means that one is just sacrificing one’s quality of life for the sake of some company.”

Joseph adds “When Satoko spent three months working for one of Japan’s largest media companies she was usually coming home so late at night that when we did see each other at weekends she was too exhausted to do anything! This has been the main reason why we’ve set up our own businesses. Of course, we are almost as busy with our own businesses now, but it’s a completely different feeling as we are doing this for the benefit of ourselves, and our families and friends.”

After working as freelance translators for a couple of years, the couple is now in the process of establishing their own translation agency. They also have a business specializing in organic and beauty products. “This business has undergone rapid expansion in the last few months as people become more aware of the sheer number of chemicals in Japanese food,” Joseph says. “It is the cornerstone of our plans to devote ourselves to helping others, and specifically to establish a charity fund to support worthy causes.”

Talking about how their relationship has changed, Joseph says, “Here in Japan, Satoko is boss, and although she wasn’t particularly dependent on me in the UK, there has been a distinct shift. That took some getting used to! However, as my Japanese has improved, I have become a lot more independent. A key in helping us maintain harmony in our relationship has been the fact that we speak one another’s languages. This means that neither of us is overly dependent upon the other.”

The couple says that honesty, openness and never-ceasing communication has been very important for them – especially when things get tough. “Even though it’s at those times that we really don’t want to communicate!”