“God Works in Mysterious Ways”

Trevor & Ai

The saying “God works in mysterious ways” couldn’t be truer for American-born Jamaican Trevor HOUCHEN. The New York-native first touched down in Japan in 2003 looking for an adventure that would provide him with a steady income in a safe and modern country. Little did he know that in only a few short years he would marry, face cultural issues with his new parents-in-law, become a father and release a CD.

Trevor first met his now wife Ai when he was looking for private teaching students in 2004. “When we met, Ai couldn’t speak more than a few words of English,” Trevor recalls. “After about 3~4 months of a completely platonic teacher/student relationship, I noticed I missed her when we weren’t studying, so, I told her this at the next lesson, not thinking she would understand. But she did, and I was blown away when she said she missed me too.”

But when it became known the pair was actually a couple, things slowly started to change with Ai’s family, and when news got out that they planned to marry, the situation, Trevor says, became “positively bizarre.” “Ai’s parents had serious reservations about Ai marrying me,” he admits. “We had about five meetings where we all sat down and they let me know they weren’t really feeling happy about me marrying their daughter, citing cultural differences and other reasons. They questioned me about my background, my family, how I planned to support their daughter, even though they knew very well I had a good job and was making money.”

“While we showed them that we were serious about staying together, I know that Ai and I had enough strength and determination to continue, but I wanted her parents to support our relationship for Ai’s sake.” But a sea-change occurred when the couple married. “Some members of my family came over to Japan, and when Ai’s parents saw them, they realized how serious I was about their daughter and how serious my family was about us.”

The highlight of the couple’s relationship is definitely their new son Taiyo, “who we can’t really believe we’ve been blessed with.” Another boon is that the couple has successfully converted Ai’s parents into big supporters of their relationship. Also, Trevor has been able to accomplish several things in Japan that he could not have done in America — including the April 2007 release of his music CD through a Japanese record label, organizing a festival that took place in Nagoya’s Central Park called Springfest ’07, and working as a DJ at a hip hop club in Nagoya.

Trevor and Ai believe that tolerance, kindness, humility, open-mindedness, and tenderness are crucial aspects of international relationships. “I would imagine that many people in international relationships end up thinking ‘their’ way is the ‘right’ way, when in fact, both people have their ideas of what is ‘right,’” Trevor says. “This is where the tolerance and open-mindedness comes in. Just because one is in a foreign country does not necessarily make one a citizen of the world, it takes a real effort to unlearn lots of stupid, silly things one has programmed into one’s mind from their mother country and culture. Wherever you are, live and let live. Don’t be a hypocrite.”