He Came to America Every Single Month to Meet me

Six years ago American Darlene BECKMAN was preparing to leave work, tired after a busy Saturday night as a manager in an Osaka jazz club. Suddenly she caught the eye of a handsome stranger. "I started talking to this guy just as I was walking out of the door," she remembers with a laugh. "A lot of girls in the bar were interested in him, he was young and really handsome. I didn't think he liked me but gave him my telephone number, then left to meet friends. He called straight away, asked to meet for a drink and that was it!”

The timing could not have been worse. Darlene was already in a relationship, and after six years in Japan was preparing to return for America six months later. "But I knew Masa was special straight away. When my cat fell ill he rented a car and took me to the animal hospital. Sadly the cat died three days later, and he helped me bury him and took me to church. It was such a sweet thing to do."

Desperately missing her friends and family she returned to the US, and the couple began a two year long-distance relationship. "I didn't really believe him when he promised to come regularly to America, but he came every single month. Luckily he is a jewelry wholesaler so his business is flexible. We talked all the time, sent letters and emails. It was hard, because although his English is good, my Japanese is very basic."

When Masa flew over to propose to Darlene, they struggled to decide where to live. "I really hoped we would have a life in America," she admits, "and he promised my family we would. But I think he said that because it's what my family wanted to hear. Going back to Japan was a real concern; I missed my family, friends, my own country and people."

Meeting her mother-in-law was also a challenge. "It was hard with Masa's mother at first. Although she liked me, she wasn't happy about her son marrying a foreigner. I was pleased that she was so honest. I understood why she felt that way so I worked really hard for her to make her like me. I bought her flowers and always made sure she was comfortable. She was also very stylish, so I always looked my best, with makeup and hair done. We became close, she even helped pick my wedding dress."

At home the couple share all domestic responsibilities, and they both dote on their eighteen month son. But communication does cause arguments. "I am reliant on him to do all the translating and be the middleman when we go out with his friends. It is very difficult and annoying because I am never sure he is doing it right!"

Darlene believes their relationship works because they are great friends, and can compromise. "We still can't decide where we will live in America," she laughs, "I hate the cold and he likes it. We will just have to find somewhere in the middle!”