International Marriage
International Marriage
Relationship Bombshell Behind New Love
When Yokohama-born Kumiko got up out of bed one morning in December 2002, she had no idea how much her future was going to change. Her life had been going great when all of a sudden, her dreams were dashed by a bombshell that same morning — “My boyfriend of five years had been asked by
his company to transfer to Hong Kong, and that morning, he told me he had decided to move there alone.” Not surprisingly, she was heartbroken, but they had already booked a snowboarding trip to Hokkaido with a group of friends leaving that morning, and decided to depart as planned.
However, having fun in the snow wasn’t all that was going to happen that day. “When we got to Haneda Airport, I was introduced by a friend to an Italian man named Christian,” Kumiko recalls. There was definitely mutual attraction from the moment they met, and they could not stop talking to each other. “At that point, nobody, including Christian knew that my boyfriend and I had broken up that morning.”
But the story did not end there. “During the first run on the mountain, my boyfriend crashed into a tree and fractured his spine,” Kumiko says. “Of course I still cared for him deeply, although he really had broken my heart that morning, so I decided to take care of him for a month until he recovered.” Kumiko and Christian began dating after her ex boyfriend had moved to Hong Kong.
Christian’s introduction to Kumiko’s parents went well. “They loved Christian immediately,” she says. Christian’s parents on the other hand live in London, while his relatives live in Italy. “In the summer of 2004, we went to Italy and met all the his entire family and we were with them 24-7. It was amazing!” she says. “At the time, I had only been exposed to how Christian interacts with his friends and coworkers in Japan, so visiting Italy was the first time I got to see him interact with his family. By seeing how they interact with each other, you can tell how he was brought up, what their values are, how important family is to him, etc, you just get to see a whole new side of him. After meeting with his family and seeing all this, I felt even closer to him,” she says.
While international relationships have many positive benefits, there is also ample room for problems, especially misinterpretations. Christian says they have some issues due to misunderstandings stemming from a different view on the world. “But this is more a character thing than a cultural thing.” Another lowlight is miscommunication. “I am used to American English, and sometimes Christian’s way of saying things lead to my misunderstanding,” Kumiko says.
“Also, Italians tend to be much more passionate and emotional in expressing their points, and I often misinterpret them.”
For Kumiko who has lived abroad in the Netherlands and the U.S.A. for most of her younger years, the highlights are the fact that they both have so many nterests and passions in common. “We both love traveling, eating, photography and other creative things,” she says. “And because neither of us grew up here, we both want to and do explore Japan as much as possible. I have been able to get in touch with my roots, and it’s amazing to be able to do this with him.”
Variation is the highlight for Christian. “Diversity is the spice of life ... most of the time at least. Also, the ability to see deeper into each other’s respective cultures — language, food, traditions.” Kumiko says that being able to share different experiences and perspectives are valuable. “Because we have such diverse backgrounds, we are not afraid to live anywhere, we both know that we will be able to adapt and survive and have fun wherever we are.”
