Night of a thousand shooting stars led to love

After first visiting Japan from Britain for two weeks in the summer of 1998, John decided to apply for the JET program and ended up returning in the summer of 1999. After spending three years in the small mountain village of Kuriyama in northern Tochigi-ken, John picked up his passion for snowboarding. “In February 2002, I invited a girl snowboarding with me and she brought along a few of her friends,” he says about the way he met his now wife. “Miyuki was among them and we spent all day snowboarding together and had a really good time.”

“We met again the following November and a group of us went to the Ashikaga wine festival and spent the day supping wine under the vines while listening to the live music, bowling and a movie.” That night was the perfect setting for romance. “After the movie we went to the local park with some of Miyuki’s friends and gazed at the sky because Jupiter was shedding stardust,” John says. “The result was a night of a thousand shooting stars, which had to be seen to be believed. And so we held hands under the night sky and watched on in awe.”

The couple began dating from that day onwards. When Miyuki started dating with John, she said “It will take some time till you meet my parents.” Miyuki first met John’s parents at a hanami party when they came to Japan in April 2002. “I don’t think it’s such a big deal for foreigners to introduce their girlfriends to their parents, so I didn’t even think twice about it,” John says. “But I guess it’s a much
bigger step along the path of commitment for Japanese than foreigners. Miyuki introduced me to most of her family early on except for her father. This took her about six months to pluck up the courage to do.”

“As I guessed John was nervous when he met my father,” Miyuki says. “After drinking beer together they became happy and started talking about sports. They became closer after they went golfing which is their common hobby. Both play at about the same level and are good rivals. I think a secret for the husband to have a good relationship with his wife’s father is for them both to share the same hobby,” Miyuki explains.

Two and a half years later, John, now working as an English teacher, proposed to Miyuki on Valentine’s Day The couple married in June 2004 in Miyuki’s workplace — Itakura Town Hall. “Actually, Miyuki filled out most of the paperwork in advance and used my inkan to authorize everything,” John says, “I was nearly
married without even being aware of it!” In February 2005, they held their wedding ceremony in an 800-year-old church in Leicester, England, and followed that up with their wedding reception in Japan early the following month.

“Most of the time we don’t tend to argue,” John says, “but when we do it is usually about money, the route (when driving) or housework. Miyuki is typically Japanese in that she tries to save roughly two-thirds of her salary, whereas the money tends to flow a bit more freely out of my wallet! When driving, she shouts at me for driving too fast and I shout at her for not being able to read Japanese road signs, despite being Japanese.”

“Japanese do not generally introduce one’s friends to one’s partner,” Miyuki says. “John always takes me wherever he goes and both know their friends. Therefore, I know who John’s friends are and how he treats them and I can be their friends. We don’t have to worry that one may be hiding something or not,” Miyuki explains.

“Don’t think of an ‘international relationship’ as a problem,” John advises. “Some things are different, but many things are the same,” says John, and Miyuki adds, “Basically the way of thinking is the same, I think, as both people are human beings. It is best not think too much that one partner is different as a foreigner.”