How you Refer to a Person in Japan Depends on Your Personal Relationship with the Speaker

In Japan, when you call or refer to someone in daily life, it is common to do so by adding "san" after his or her family name, such as "SUZUKI-san." However, this suffix differs according to the personal relationship between the speaker, and the location. In the office, it is customary to call a person according to his or her title, such as "Kachou" (Section Chief), "Buchou" (Department Manager) or "Shachou" (President). Many people refer to their subordinates as "kun," such as "Suzuki-kun" besides calling them by their position name.

When people call their male co-workers, they usually add "kun" or "san" after his or her family name, such as "Suzukikun" or "Suzuki-san." Otherwise they simply call them by their family name, such as "Suzuki." However, most people refer to female co-workers ? whether they are subordinates or co-workers ? as, for example, "Suzuki-san," ie: by adding "san" after her family name. There are no distinct regulations for the use of suffixes after peoples' ames. The terms a person uses really depends on how the speaker sees the person he or she is referring to.

As for foreigners who are not familiar with Japanese customs such as these, it is not rude to add "san" after the family name when calling their superiors. However, Japanese will feel uncomfortable when they call a superior by their first name, ie: "Ken," which is more in line with western practices. Although the foreigner in question may well want to demonstrate a certain level of intimacy, Japanese will take it as being too much, so it is better not to refer to people by their first names in the office.

When do you use "san," "kun" and "chan"?
Outside the office, when a male calls a male friend, it is appropriate for each to refer to the other by only using the family name and not adding "san." Young people prefer to call each other by their first names, ie: "Ken." When a female calls a female friend, many will do so by only using the first name, such as "Yumi," or by adding "chan" after the first name to make "Yumi-chan." Between couples, however, most call each other by the first name.

Children are commonly referred to by their first names with the addition of "chan" whether they are boys or girls like "Ken-chan" and "Yumi-chan." Their names are sometimes shortened for smoother pronounciation. For example, the name "Takuya" becomes "Taku-chan." As for boys, instead of adding "chan," some people refer to them by adding "kun," ie: "Takuya-kun."

Generally, a wife of another person is called "Oku-san" (Mrs.), and a husband of another person is called "Dannasan" (Mr.). When you introduce your wife to others, there are several ways to refer to her including "Kanai," "Kami-san," "Tsuma," "Nyoubo" and in the Kansai area, "Yome-han" is commonly used. When you introduce your husband to others, many people use terms such as "Shujin," "Danna" and "Otto."

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